Cradle Of Hope:
"No Babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
Prometheus:
"Iolaus was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went on to live long and prosperous lives."
Death In Chains:
"No Jumbo-Sized Cocktail Rats were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
Hooves And Harlots:
"No Males, Centaurs, or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts:
"No oversized Polynesian-style Bamboo Horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives."
Athens City Academy Of The Performing Bards:
"The producers would like to acknowledge and pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas, and all those who were involved with the making of the film classic Spartacus."
A Fistful Of Dinars:
"No Ambrosia was spilled, spoiled, or in any way harmed during the production of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of marshmallows.)"
Warrior, Princess:
"Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
Mortal Beloved:
"No Winged Harpies were harmed or sent to a fiery grave during the production of this motion picture."
The Royal Couple Of Thieves:
"No Ancient and Inflexible Rules governing moral behavior were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
The Prodigal:
"Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Carousing Warrior-For-Hire, was not harmed during the production of this motion picture."
Altared States:
"No Unrelenting or Severely Punishing Deities were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
Ties That Bind:
"No Fathers, Spiritual or Biological were harmed during the production of this motion picture."
The Greater Good:
"Excessive belching can cause brain damage and social ostracism. Kids, please don't give in to peer pressure. Play it safe."
Callisto:
"Joxer's nose was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, his crossbow was severely damaged."
Death Mask:
"No messenger doves were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several are reportedly missing in action and search-and-rescue efforts are underway."
Is There A Doctor In The House?:
"Being that war is hell, lots of people were harmed during the production of this motion picture (but since television is a dramatic medium of make-believe, all casualties removed their prosthetic makeup and went home unscathed)."
since 22 December 1999
Disclaimer: Xena: Warrior Princess and its characters are the property of MCA Universal, Studios USA and Renaissance Pictures and in no way does this site intend to infringe upon their copyright.
